Reading instructions

The entirety of this blog is constituted by texts written between September 2016 and January 2017. During this period, I made it a part of my routine to write a text by hand and to publish the previous day’s text to this blog. This I would do every day of the week except Sunday. The texts were always written in a single take, no re-writes and would only be re-read the following day, when I would type them in and publish them. While typing them in, handwritten words would often appear, at a glance, to be some other word, and I included these words in parenthesis and italics. Parenthesis without italics form part of the original text. This I did to permit some of the involuntary meaning (or at-a-glance ambiguity) of the handwritten word to pass through to the publish blog post. Of course, there’s no way to distinguish that meaning from meaning projected, in the style of a Rorschach test, by the following day’s wanderings of the mind. That is, indeed, a bit the point. Each publication presents a read, and I hope that the consistency of time elapsed between writing and reading will serve to in some way bring forth a bit of that precious meaning that we must toil incessantly to be allowed a glimpse.

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plunge #90

Going to the Netherlands is not the same as not going to the Netherlands.

It’s still a land of Nether, whether and weather.

Wear and tear, cape of good hope

See you there, see you there.

Never here,never there, never ever, nevermore.

All my soul within be burning, never ever.

I found my peace of mind, over the moon, the high and low of wool and soul, howl at the moon, you fool.

Coming back home home again I like to see you when I can, ever the man over the hair, be aware, follow the mare, ever ever there, Prince beware, get you there, tell me where, be right there.

Sleep in snare, ever in stare, be right there, be right there.

plunge #89

Look, we’re gonna need(reed) some time.

We’ve seen you looking, we’ve registered, you’re still around, which means we like you.

You’re smart and you’re brave.

It really isn’t fair(fun). And you’re not replacing(replying) her. That you will not do.

But you must let(left) my heart heal. It heals already. You’re healing it. I like you. I like the way you think.

But to have lost Rose. To have loved and lost Rose. Nothing I can say would do it justice. It’s bigger than you can imagine.

Maybe. Maybe I just don’t want to fall(fill,full) in love and then lose you, too.

I might go mad with grief. You’re looking more and more like you’re quite something.

Not fall in love. Not get hurt.

It’s a good plan. Why is it failing(fulfilling). Sabotage.

 

 

I gave up on my parents. I’m leaving home(them) again.

mergulho #88

Que valor tem isto, ou o mundo. Não sei. Sei que serei quem carrega a cruz quando(quanto) tiver que ser.

 

E quando não tiver, não carrego(consigo).

 

*Ainda por cima é uma tremenda gata (…) Se fosse mulher feia dava tudo certo, mulher bonita mexe com o(como) meu coração

plunge #87

Oh.Why do they hate wine.

Everything that was written was once held at this speed.

Oh the rubberized pen it’s so unattractive.

The fog reveals the truth.

Bug sight. This easy. Just keep the tears in front of your eyes, full of wonder.

plunge #86

I’m so easy I fell for you almost immediately. It was your style, your swag, your voice.
You had me with the smile. There’s a difference with wanting to like and having a place in my heart.

And if there’s still room for the previously departed and for you too, my heart just got bigger.

I thank you, Doctor, for your miraculous unfolding of space in my heart, the little TARDIS.